Being organised

What I really have to do is write a 1500-word visual analysis on the theme of Conflict but what I really want to do is download some photos off the digital camera. The camera is in my handbag - a gloriously frivolous confection with beaded handles, made of hessian interwoven with glitter and embellished with flowers and more beads and cleverly embroidered chiffon offcuts. (That's the bag, not the camera . . .)

Also in the bag, and interfering with my ability to find the magic piece of kit that will connect the camera with the computer and therefore enable the downloading, are the following:

• a very large (and heavy) new ball of very thick string, and what's left of another one
• a slightly smaller (and lighter) new ball of thinner string
• two green luggage labels, complete with the string needed to tie them to luggage
• a cone wound round with several hundred metres of gossamer-thin silvery thread, of the sort bought to construct spiderwebs with. The kind of spiderwebs that, as soon as they're constructed, get blown away by the breath of angels
• a smaller cone supporting a rather sturdier silvery thread that - so far - has withstood the angels' breath
• a pair of grey-handled scissors
• a box of 400 silver drawing pins (minus some, and not really silver), made in China
• a NatWest left-handed chequebook
• the 11 yellow HB pencils with red rubbers on the ends that have survived from the original pack of 24
• a mobile phone, hardly moving at all
• three handwriting pens (£1.25 from Tesco and a bargain if you have realistic expectations) and a ballpoint
• various receipts, a purple cigarette lighter, and a 5p piece.

Now they're all out, I've found the magic lead.